Familia Primum
by Inks Inc
Summary: "Past heroism is no excuse for present misconduct." WARNING: Spanking. Now Complete.
1. Chapter 1

Frank's moustache bristled with ire as it fluttered under his infuriated breath. His eyes roved over his two very abashed looking sons, neither daring to meet his eye. He opened his mouth as he had done numerous times in the five minutes he had been pacing in front of them, before clamping it shut again. As he began his pacing anew, Jamie shot a horrified look towards his older brother who returned a look of grim resignation. Silence was their best defence in this situation, a speak only when spoken to approach. It had served them reasonably well in the past and neither saw any need to break tradition now.

Garret, the Commissioner's ever faithful shadow stood nervously to the side of the Reagan boys.

He took a moment to offer his silent prayers on their behalf.

He also took a moment to send his silent apologies their way for his unfortunate duty of ratting them out. Silence continued to reign supreme in the ornate PC's office as Frank tried to find the words. He wasn't a characteristically laconic man and he could generally speak with the best of them. The only time he was truly rendered speechless was when confronted with the more glaring misdeeds of his brood. His eyes found Danny as he began another furious trip behind his desk. On the other side of the polished wood his eldest looked suitably ashamed. It was a rare thing indeed for Danny Reagan to hold his tongue and not fight his corner, but when he didn't, it was a sure sign of the severity of the situation.

His eyes next landed upon his youngest.

Jamie was a rather delicate shade of white and years of keen observation allowed Frank to see the very faint sheen of sweat on the kid's brow. Jamie was generally better than Danny at admitting his faults and his own admission was splashed across his face as he stood to attention on the other side of his father's desk. Both had their heads bowed slightly, not wanting to see the expression on the Commissioner's face. Clearing his throat with difficulty Frank counted to ten, as his long suffering wife had taught him when the boy's hit their teens, and opened his mouth.

"As members of the NYPD, you should be disgraced and embarrassed to wear a badge right now."

Both junior Reagan's flinched at his words. They weren't shouted, they weren't scathingly spat. They were said quietly and with an undercurrent of pure sincerity. "You have behaved in a manner that only the greenest of rookie's would pull. Neither of you are new to this, neither of you have the excuse of inexperience." He swiped a hand across his brow. "Unlike either of you, I have respect for this institution and the traditions it holds. I will not subvert or supervene in the chain of command. This has come to my attention first because Garrett possessed more common sense in his baby _toe_ than either of you used today, combined."

Garrett at that moment wanted the ground to swallow him up as both boys glanced miserably in his direction. "As a matter of fact, I think both of you owe Garrett here an apology for the incredibly awkward position you have put him in." Garret there was in fact horrified by the suggestion. Shaking his head furiously in the shadows, he held up his hands. "That's really not necessary sir," he blustered, guilt seeping through him, "Honestly, there's no need-"

Frank raised a terrifying brow and the deputy instantly fell silent.

Glancing back towards his sons, he tilted his head in the same manner a tiger appraised its prey.

"Am I going to have to ask twice?"

Swallowing deeply and exchanging looks of pure misery, both Reagan's flushed slightly. Knowing that there was no way out, they forced themselves in tandem to look at the horrified deputy. "Sorry Garrett," Jamie muttered quietly, followed swiftly by a blunter "Sorry," from Danny. Seemingly satisfied, Frank nodded before turning to address the man himself. "Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I appreciate it was a difficult decision for you and I'm grateful that at least one other person in this room has an understanding of what being a member of the NYPD means."

Danny and Jamie bowed their heads even further.

"Leave us now please," Frank continued, "I need to continue this conversation in private."

Garrett did not need to be told twice. Hightailing it from the room like it was on fire; he barrelled past the doomed men and flew out of the office as fast his legs could carry him. Baker looked up from her desk in bemusement as the man practically ran from the outer office in horror. She was more than accustomed to the many escapades of the Reagan clan, but from the shouting she could mutely here from inside the PC's office, even she felt a stab of sympathy for the two.

Well, for Jamie moreso. Danny, she had long since concluded, needed a right kick up the backside.

"You will report immediately to your respective commanding officers the moment you leave this room. If you come away from this with anything less than a two week rip apiece and a mountain of paperwork, I will personally expect to be informed." He glared. "By you _yourselves_. Is that understood?"

Both nodded quietly offering a subdued "yes sir" each.

Frank glared for a moment more, his significant chest rising and falling in sheer ire. He resisted the urge to reach out and physically shake some sense into his eldest and youngest with great difficulty. As it was, he levelled them with a look that in all her years his daughter had never brought upon herself. Fury still gripped him as he stared at his two offspring's, disappointment beginning to filter through the crevices of his anger. Sighing, he realised no more could be done in that moment. Both officers had to report to their direct superiors in a timely fashion. Pointing towards the door, his eyes shone with controlled rage.

"Report to your commanding officers. This instant."

Both nodded instantly and made to stride from the room. Neither particularly wanted to move any closer to the recounting of the day's events to their sergeants, but in that moment it was better than being closeted up with their infuriated father. Danny led the way, reaching the door first and making to open it with haste. Their father's voice, quiet and controlled, rang out as he settled himself back into his chair and picked up a nearby file. He didn't look at his boys as he spoke, and his tone made it clear that they weren't to look back.

"I expect you both at the house tonight. We have much to discuss."

….

A/N: I wasn't really going to write another Blue Bloods story, but hell…it's a fun write! Hope you enjoy!

….


	2. Chapter 2

As Jamie pulled his car to a halt outside his childhood home, he saw that Danny was already outside and idling in his own vehicle. The two locked eyes as Jamie killed his engine and the same horrified look was mirrored back at each Reagan. "This is not good little brother," Danny groaned as the two met on the imposing building's porch steps. "This is not good at all." Jamie pulled a face. "You think? He's going to absolutely kill us. Whatever's left of us anyway." He winced. "How did you get on back at your house?" Danny's flinch was answer enough as both recalled the hellacious rebuke each had received from two very irate sergeants.

Neither would have to inform their father of any undue lenience received.

Biting the bullet, Danny threw an arm around his youngest sibling's shoulders and walked with him slowly to the ornate front door. Exchanging expressive looks of doom, the two loitered for just a moment before nodding at each other in tandem and walking into the familiar hall. It was clear from the low murmurings that their father was in the living room and to each guy's horror, it was equally clear that their grandfather was also present. Before he could entertain the notion of jumping into his car and driving as fast and as far away as possible, Jamie shouldered in the door gently.

Henry and Frank looked up at the entrance with eyes that were far from twinkling kindly.

After a sticky silence, both younger Reagan's hoped fervently that their grandfather would excuse himself as he most usually did. It would appear that this time, there was to be no such luck. Looking rather ferocious but clearly calmed, Frank pointed at the sofa that sat directly in front of the two armchairs he and his father sat in. Both boys resisted a gulp. They'd been on that hot seat more times than they wanted to think about, but it was always doubly worse when Henry joined the mix. As they sat down both elder men sat up straighter.

Another pressing silence ensued.

"Evening boys, I was just filling your grandfather in on your latest stunt," Frank murmured silkily, a voice that instantly spelled danger. "I was just informing him as to your blatant disregard for your own basic safety. I was just letting him in on your total disregard for procedure which put both your necks on the line for no good reason." He raised a thick brow. "Isn't that wonderful? Isn't that a wonderful thing for me to tell my father about his only two grandsons? Grandsons that are thoroughly experienced on the force and a supposed credit to our name?"

He tilted his head like a tiger waiting the most opportune moment to pounce.

"Well?"

Both Danny and Jamie flinched involuntarily at his words.

"Answer your father," Henry growled, his irritation and downright fear for his two grandsons's making him unusually sharp. He could understand Jamie's actions a little more than Danny's, which he couldn't understand at all. Though he learned quickly and was progressing well, Jamie was still relatively new to the job. Danny on the other hand was a veteran and damn straight knew better. The fact that he not only enabled but conspired with his kid brother to do that as they'd done made him near puce with rage.

Jamie opened his mouth slowly.

"No…it isn't wonderful," he mumbled shamefacedly, "We're…we're really sorry dad, pops." He glanced at Danny and knew exactly what his father and grandfather were thinking. "But this was my idea. I made him go along with it. I kept at him and at him and told him that if he didn't help me, I'd go ahead and do it on my own. He was just…" he bowed his head in shame, "He was just trying to protect my foolish ass. It's my fault, not his. Please…blame me."

Danny mewled in indignation.

"Shut the hell up kid," he contradicted wildly, "I'm the one who should have told you no. I'm the one who's been around the damn block while you were still in grade school. I should have known better and I should have talked you out of it, rather than cave into you. This isn't your fault Jamie, this is my fault. I acted like a god damned fool and dropped us both in the path of an armed frigging lunatic in the process."

He looked desperately at his father.

"Dad…this isn't the kid's fault. Please."

Frank held up a silencing hand.

"You are both right," he pronounced simply, "And you are both to blame." He offered the silencing hand to his father who grunted in disagreement, knowing that Henry blamed Danny more than Jamie. "No pops," he said quietly, "Jamie can be very persuasive when he wants to be and whilst Danny should have known better, he's not the only one to blame here." He threw his gaze back his son's. "I blame you both equally and you're both going to be treated the same, equally. Is that perfectly clear to the pair of you?"

Both heads, fair and dark shook wildly as mouths were opened in protest.

Frank allowed the most terrifying look to cross his face as he stared the two down.

"Trust me Daniel, Jamison…you _want_ to tell me that it's perfectly clear to you."

Both younger Reagan men looked at the man in consternation before nodding miserably. There was a certain expression that their father rarely wore, but when he did, it was always best to heed his words. Silence ensued for a moment as Henry cloaked his grandchildren in a frown of disappointment. "You will never, by the time I'm through with you, think of placing your _lives_ so recklessly on the line ever again. This isn't about the job. I don't care about the job. This is about the disregard you have both shown for your own lives. I did not expect this from you, either of you, after what this family has been through with Joe."

Danny and Jamie's gaze found their feet as their heads dropped in misery.

"If you ever do something so _moronic_ as to pose as security guards in a bank that you know is going to be hit, I will kill you myself. If you ever do anything so moronic as to pose as security guards in a bank you know is going to be hit, without making it an official sting with reliable back up, I will kill you myself. I don't want to hear your foolish reasons, I've heard all that nonsense from lesser men than you. You could have made this official without alerting the perps and you both damned well know it. You are my son's and I did not raise you to be pigheaded buffoons with matching hero complexes."

His face took on a thunderous hue.

"Is that clear?"

There was nothing else for it, other than a steadfast agreement.

"Yes sir."

Frank's moustache billowed under his scalding breath as he appraised his two reprobates. Knowing he was now calm enough to deal with them fairly, he turned to his own father. "Pops…I'm going to need the room for a while. Do you mind?" Shaking his head as he stood, Henry squeezed his son's shoulder before moving to stand in front of his grandson's, who winced at his close presence. Looking down on them with the same expression he'd worn when he found them as kids, stranded near the river they'd sworn they'd never go to, he was downright terrifying. "You boy's have let your father down something terrible, and you've let me down and this family down. More importantly, you've let yourselves down. As brother's, you should always be able to count on each other to have your backs. You didn't do that today, either of you. You behaved in a way that treated your lives as a commodity, a joke."

He drew himself up to his fullest height and glowered down at them.

"I'm disappointed boys, I'm very disappointed."

And with that, he was gone, leaving Jamie and Danny somehow feeling even worse.

As his father exited the room, Frank stood. Crossing the space between he and his son's in two strides, he reached down and pulled them both to their feet with ease. Keeping a firm hand on each of their upper arms, he marched them to the back of the sofa they had just vacated before releasing them. Reaching down and unbuckling his horribly thick leather belt, he quirked a brow in their pale faced direction.

"Who's first then?"

….

TBC

….


	3. Chapter 3

The air left Danny's lungs as he stared at his father in silence. He knew it should be him first but there was another conflicting emotion beginning to emerge as all three Reagan's stared at each other. He knew his father was as traditional and as old school as they come. He truly knew that and he had submitted, however grudgingly and theatrically, to that conservatism in the past. But as he stood in his childhood living room, with a familiar and imminent childhood punishment dawning, a burst of obstinacy arose in him. Coupling that streak of stubbornness was an equally strong streak of protective instinct. He was standing closest to his father, shielding the kid from him with his own body. An eternity seemed to have passed since Frank's question and he instinctively knew it was a query that was about to be repeated.

"Why does it have to be either of us?"

Frank felt his trademark brows rise slowly as he appraised his eldest. The look of incredulity and surprise that stormed across Jamie's face was not lost on him. "Pardon me?" he eventually questioned, in that silky smooth voice that screamed fast and furious danger. "Do you expect me to grow an extra arm and deal with you two simultaneously? Is that it?" A glacial hue appeared in Danny's eyes as he shook his head slowly and Frank instantly sensed a tepid soon to be molten change of temperament. "No," the eldest Reagan offspring muttered, "I don't expect that. But I also don't see why it has to be either of us." He gestured to the belt in his father's hands. "I don't see why either of us has to be first in line for that. We're not kids anymore. Yes, we screwed up. I admit that, I don't dispute it. But…we we've already been disciplined on the job."

He took a deep breath.

"We're a little old for your _'if you get it at school, you get it at home approach'"_ He threw his hand to the room at large. "We've not just come home from skipping school, dad. We messed up on the job and it was dealt with on the job." He glanced at the ominous belt again. "So why is this even necessary?" As the glint in his father's eyes grew, anger lanced through Danny. "What gives you the right?" he added quietly, "What gives you the right to do this to us now? What gives you the right to subject us to house rules when we no longer live under your roof?"

A blanket of supreme shock settled over the comfortable living room.

Jamie's eyes bulged in their sockets. He stared open mouthed at his brother, leaving enough room for a freight train to scoot through his mouth as he gaped. The sudden change in his sibling's attitude and approach was frankly astounding. The insolent tone that had crept into his speech had finished on a high note and his voice had rung off with wilful impertinence. He felt the overwhelming urge to scream at his brother to shut his mouth. He was literally digging himself a grave to end all graves. Before he could vocalise any of his concerns, his father had peeled his lips apart once more.

"I don't care how old you are, or where you live. You are my son and I am your father. You are not, while I am alive, going to put your life on the line and think a roasting at work is going to be the only consequence." Disappointment seeped from the elder man's voice and eyes as he locked gazes with his eldest. "You have a young family and all the responsibilities that go with it. You could have left your wife and children with neither a husband or father between them. That's what gives me the right, son. That's why it has to be either of you and both of you."

He shrugged slightly, the belt in his hands swaying.

"But you're right. You are a grown man and I will never force you to accept any form of discipline from me. It's your choice, it's always been your choice. I have never once held you down and wailed on you or anything of the sort. Your decisions are your decisions. I think I've made my feelings clear on the decisions you've made today. If you feel like you've suitably atoned for those decisions, then so be it. If you feel you can look in the mirror and think that you did not let yourself and your family down today, then so be it. I'm not going to try and change your mind on that score."

He shook his head slowly and felt an impossible weariness overtake him. He hadn't anticipated this objection. True, neither of his sons ever enthusiastically volunteered their behinds for a tanning. They often protested, wheedled, whined and downright baulked at their corrections, but neither had outright refused him before. Feeling his heart speed up slightly, Frank opened his mouth once more to enunciate his last words on the matter. "I don't care about the job. This is not about the job. This is not about me as your Commissioner and you as my officer. This is about me as your father and you as my son. You, both of you, behaved in a way today that risked my sons being taken from me. I am not prepared to put up with that. I don't care if it was in uniform or out, I just do not care. I would feel the same on this matter if you'd both been off duty when you pulled this stunt."

He breathed in a staggering amount of air.

"This is a family matter, not a force matter and I've said all I have to say." He threw his gaze over to include Jamie, who was standing in evident shellshock. "I'm not forcing either of you to bend over that sofa. I will not hold it against you if you don't. This is your call, just like every other time has been your call. But I will not change my ways or my views. I did not raise you to be cavalier with your lives and your responsibilities. I did not raise you to be foolhardy or besieged with a hero complex. I raised two of the finest young men I know, but even the finest men make mistakes. I raised my boys to admit to their mistakes, accept the repercussions, learn and move on."

He held the belt up and scanned the two Reagan boys' souls with his penetrating gaze.

"So now, I'm done talking. It's time for you two to make up your minds." He gestured towards the door. "You walk through that door right now and you'll be as welcome to come back through it as you've ever been. Nothing will change. I don't tan your hides because I want to, I hate doing it and you both know it. I do it because sometimes I have to. The fact that you're grown doesn't change that, but it does change the weight of your opinion on the matter and I respect the hell out of that."

He glanced to the door again and raised a thick brow.

"Decision time boys."

A thundering quiet battered the living room. Both Reagan offspring's stared at their father with unusually sombre expressions. He could practically hear the cogs of their minds whirring as his own heart thudded along uncertainly. No one spoke for what seemed like a cruel and unusually long time. Frank kept his mouth tightly clamped. He had said all he had to say and the ball was no longer in his court. He expected Danny to burst first, but it was Jamie's quiet voice, level and calm, that filled the void.

"I accept the consequences dad, I know I screwed up and I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He pointed with a steady hand that made Frank proud as all hell at the belt he still held loosely in his hand. "I know I got that coming and I ain't going to fight you on it." With that, he snapped his mouth shut with a small nod and hung his head. Frank cleared his throat quietly and nodded thoughtfully. "I respect that decision Jamie and…I'm proud of you for it son." Feeling slightly, but not totally relieved, he turned from his youngest to his eldest.

"Danny?"

There was an odd fire flaming in his son's eyes. His jaw was taut and his stance was rigid. Danny didn't know why, but the sight of the all too familiar belt in front of his face had triggered a brand new response in him. He stood by his words. He was a grown damned man and he shouldn't be within a hundred meters of a conversation like this. Jamie's words irked him something wicked. Of course he would agree with their father. Perfect, precious Jamison. The intelligent, respectful one. The one everyone liked and the one who liked everyone. Of course the saint of the family would fall on his sword and agree that he needed the imparting of Frank Reagan's wisdom.

Anger surged through Danny as he opened his mouth in a snarl. "Well, if pretty boy here wants to hang around and have his ass beat like a ten year old, that's his call. I'm not going to join the absolution brigade. I did what I did and I took the consequences. The _appropriate_ consequences that is. I don't need the benefit of your wisdom and belt to know I've done wrong, contrary to popular belief, Jamie and Erin aren't the only ones with a brain in this damned family." He didn't know where the rage was coming from, but he knew it was building and he knew he was losing the battle to control it. "So, no, dad. Thanks but no thanks, you can take your damned belt and shove it where the sun don't shine. I don't disagree that I needed it a lot as kid but I think its past its sell by date with me now."

He threw his arm to the door in sheer ire.

"So I think I'll take you up on your invitation to leave." He threw a scornful gaze in his younger brother's direction. "I'm sure you two have lots to discuss and I wouldn't want to stand between Jamie and the all important absolution of Frank Reagan." He shook his head vehemently, and pivoted on the spot, the shocked expressions of his father and brother paling into insignificance in that moment. Striding across the room, Danny felt the blood thudding painfully in his ears. He was out of control and he knew it, he just didn't know _why._ Grabbing the handle with way more force than was necessary, he wrenched the door open and stood in the sunlight flooded hall.

"Sorry to be a disappointment dad. If it makes you feel any better, I'll say ten Hail Mary's as additional penance. It'll probably do me just as much good as an ass whooping will." He sneered then, the uncharacteristic expression marring his handsome face as he glanced at his brother. "Tell you what, we'll compare notes…we'll have a little experiment as it were. Jamie can stay here and you can blister his ass like he's some moron teenager and I'll spare you the _misery_ of doing the same to me. Then, we can evaluate which one of us feels better about the whole situation afterwards. Me, as a damned adult who received adult consequences, or the kid…who received kid consequences."

He smirked as he turned to leave, not caring about the smog of shock he was leaving behind.

"Don't forget to put a cushion on your chair, kid."

…

A/N: Just to clear it up, the reference in Reagan Review about the belt flashback is immaterial to this story!

_Inks.

…


	4. Chapter 4

Jamie could feel, hear or see nothing until he felt, heard and saw his father's hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. He turned his gaze slowly away from the door that Danny had banged through, his eyes shadowed with shock as he locked gazes with an impressively unperturbed looking Frank. "Dad…I-" The Reagan patriarch shook his head in a silencing gesture, increasing the gentle pressure on his youngest's shoulder. "Danny has made his decision and I respect that," he said quietly, "Just like I respect your decision, and your right to change it, if you wish. After that, there will be no more discussion on the matter. Danny's decisions are Danny's decisions and we will respect them."

He looked over his glasses at an astonished looking Jamie.

"Are we clear, son?"

The kid stared. On the one hand, he agreed. On the other, he sure as hell didn't. They both did the exact same thing wrong, and whilst he wouldn't _want_ his brother to cop a whooping, it didn't seem exactly fair that he'd be copping one solo. Then again, his father was offering him the chance to walk out that door and walk straight back in as if nothing had happened, or not happened. And that was…oh so very tempting. But Jamie had always been the most emotionally intelligent of the bunch and he knew himself well enough to know…he wouldn't be able to cope with the guilt. Sighing deeply, he scrubbed his blue eyes and nodded.

"We're clear and I'm still staying."

Frank nodded without an attempt to hide his pride, but that pride was quickly marred by the realisation that he now had to follow through on his threats. Closing his eyes and steeling himself, he removed his hand from Jamie's shoulder and pointed towards the back of the sofa. "No point in dragging this out Jamie, go on and bend over and let's get this over and done with." His eyes brimmed with something undecipherable as he watched his son nod grimly. As he placed the all too familiar hand on the small of Jamie's back, Frank was shielded from his youngest's gaze. And as he raised the belt, the usual reluctance was etched onto his face. But this time…it was joined by something more.

Fear.

And that fear was about the turn in the relationship with his son.

And it wasn't the son that was in front of him.

When the first lick fell, Danny was already far away. His hands gripped his steering wheel so tight the rubber mewled under his grasp. He was driving too fast and he knew it. Screeching to a halt just in time at a red light, he drummed his fingers against the wheel loudly. His father's look of serene acceptance contrasted with his brother's look of supreme shock danced in his mind. He was feeling too much to know how he felt. Shaking his head, he floored the accelerator and took the sharp turn to the right that would lead him home. Some time later as he stalked up his garden path, he was still a slave to his emotions.

And boy…were they letting him know it.

Sean and Jack looked up from whatever project they were working on as he stormed into the house and their smiles quickly faltered. They knew when there was something up, they weren't dumb kids. "Dad?" Sean murmured quietly, shooting a look at his brother. "Are you alright?" A snapping answer flew to Danny's lips before he managed to shut it the hell down. He had a hot temper but he'd always sworn not to take it out on the boys' or Linda. Taking a deep breath and shutting the door quietly, he nodded with a wink. "Of course everything is alright," he assured falsely, with a winning shrug, "I'm just beat and hungry. It's been one of those days."

He flashed a reassuring smile and both kids melted under it, nodding happily.

Guilt festered in Danny's windpipe.

"Where's your mom, boys?"

Back to being engrossed, the two pointed silently towards the kitchen, before bickering once more about who's turn it was to glue. Rubbing their heads as he passed, Danny walked slowly into the kitchen, trying his best to forget his father's words. Trying his level best to forget the fact that his wife and kids could have been widowed and partly orphaned respectively. She had her back to him and as he wrapped his arms around her waist, he didn't feel the usual relief course through him that seeped at the end of every work day, when he made it home safe.

And he knew why.

It was because…she didn't know.

She turned to him with her usual welcoming smile, flour streaked across her face. "You're late," she chided, "You nearly missed out on the once in a million shot at being the first to taste my new recipe." She waited with a grin for him to make his usual bantering and sarcastic retort, but instead all he managed was a wane smile and an apologetic shrug. She frowned. "You ok? You seem a little…out of it." Danny barely heard her as he forced another smile to his face. "Naw, I'm ok Linda. Just a little tired…been a bit of a day. I'm just gonna go and wash up." He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead and strode from the room, unable to be in the presence of his own wife without feeling the need to throw up.

How could he have been so moronic?

He could have left her alone.

All alone.

He spent a lot longer washing up than usual, staring at his pale face in the mirror unseeingly. When he did make it down to the table, his gut was no better off. Food was the last thing he wanted as the storm of emotion continued to batter him, but he had to try. The evening passed in a daze of the kids' laughter and Linda's anxious looks, which he pretended not to see. Every time one of the boys' looked at him with that easy love that always coloured their faces, his guilt grew. Whilst that guilt would have been more than enough for one man to be getting on with, his brother's face wasn't far from his mind either. He had left Jamie to carry the can, the kid, on his own. Pushing around his dessert, he once again resisted the painful urge to throw up.

But then…all of a sudden….a glaring thought hit him.

It was done. He couldn't go back and change it, and…he didn't want to. Sure, he didn't have the sweet absolving relief that his father's unorthodox methods provided, but so what? So he still felt guilty, so what? Guilt was a sufficient punishment in and of itself and he'd also been reamed and ripped by his boss. He'd suffered plenty. He _was_ suffering plenty. It wasn't as if he was going to go out tomorrow morning and do it again. He'd learned his lesson, the adult way. Suddenly he felt lighter as he laughed at Linda's gentle needling, the look of relief on her face a salving balm.

It would all work out.

When Sunday morning dawned, a day or so later however, Danny carried a can of apprehension everywhere he went. It would be his first time seeing and speaking to his father since he'd stormed out of his home. As he loaded the car with food for Sunday dinner, his gut was churning. He drove slower than usual, but no one noticed. Linda was busy arguing with the boys' about their state of their rooms and didn't notice the darkening expression on her husband's face when they eventually rolled up in front of the red brick home. To his shame, he allowed the oblivious Linda to lead the way into the house, trailing along behind her and the boys.

Announcing themselves in the hallway, Linda veered off towards the kitchen at Erin's call.

The boys ran off to find Nikki.

And Danny…Danny was left alone to walk into the living room where his father, grandfather and brother sat, watching a rerun game. Butterflies were parading in his stomach. The last time he'd felt this nervous going into his own home to see his own father…was when he was nineteen. And he'd totalled Frank's car…by crashing it into Henry's….having taken it without permission. And he was right to be the nervous that time…but this time, as all three other Reagan's looked up, their expressions were no different to any other Sunday. "Hey Danny," Frank said cheerfully, rooting around beside him and tossing his eldest a beer, "We're watching one of your favourites." With that, he turned back to the game as a stunned Danny holding a barely caught beer, sat slowly down beside his brother.

He cleared his throat quietly and spoke softly.

"Hey kid."

Jamie turned from the game and smiled pleasantly, as he always did, and inclined his beer towards his brother. "I dunno how this is your favourite," he complained, "Cos' this game blows." Henry snorted in indignation as Danny gaped at the normalcy of it all. "First of all, this is one of the preeminent games of our lifetimes. Second of all, watch your language." Jamie rolled his eyes. "Of who's lifetime?" he muttered with a smirk, under his breath, only so Danny could hear. The eldest Reagan offspring let out a snort of laughter before he could help it and suddenly felt at ease. Apparently…his decision had simply been respected and was never going to be discussed.

He closed his eyes in salivating relief.

Within another moment, all his apprehensions were utterly obliterated as he sat and watched the game with his family. When the call for dinner rang out, he groaned with the rest of them when they had to pause at the most thrilling moment. Traipsing into the dining room, all took their usual spots. Suddenly…the whole saga of a day or so ago was slammed into Danny's face. Not that anyone else would notice…but when one had as much experience as Danny did, one couldn't help it. Jamie's hesitation and pronounced wince as he sat down on the hard dining room chairs had the protective older brother in him spinning into overdrive.

Their dad must have whooped him good.

And then some.

He diverted his eyes and stared down at his place setting. Jamie recovered a millisecond later and smiled at Nikki as she drew him into conversation. He sat very still in his chair, keeping any movement to an absolute minimum. Seeing this out of the corner of his eye made Danny feel even worse. Before he could dwell any further the meal was suddenly in full swing and chatter rang out around the table. Frank engaged Danny in a friendly conversation about an old colleague they both served with at the winding down and starting up stages of their careers. In the background, Linda and Erin were deep in conversation of a similar nature, about a woman from an old social circle both used to be involved in.

Linda's eyes were wide with horror.

"You're kidding?" she gasped horrified, drawing everyone's attention to her inadvertently. "She's just left there on her own now? With three girls?" Erin nodded solemnly. "Yeah, and all of them are under eight I think." Linda shook her head in shock. "And what exactly happened." Setting her glass down, Erin shrugged. "Apparently Gary, her husband," she elaborated for the rest of the table, "Had a bit of a hero complex. He'd been in the Baltimore Fire Department for about eleven years, and she rang me one night about a month ago, concerned about the amount of write ups for insubordination he had. She was worried he might get fired when they'd just remortgaged their home."

Linda clucked disapprovingly as Erin continued.

"And I told her the truth, you know? That he was treading a very thin line between employment and unemployment. Apparently he had a real bad attitude too, he always knew best, not that we should be speaking ill of the dead. Anyway, there was this fire that was spreading fast, I mean real fast. At an old warehouse lot, mostly abandoned. It was heading towards gas mains…which obviously would be bad. Gary and three others were the first on scene and saw the danger of explosion. They weren't equipped enough as a single team to take it on, they needed to wait for back up. Gary radioed it in and his commanding officer told him to stand down. But Gary cut him off, said he couldn't wait. He ran on ahead, leaving him team screaming at him to come back."

She shook her head sadly.

"They were screaming at him to come back because they picked back up the radio to their commanding officer. The gas mains had been decommissioned over a decade ago, only the above surface structures remained. They were due for removal, but it never happened, but there was no active gas build up anywhere near that fire." She took a deep drink of water. "Their captain was also calling them back because the buildings had been condemned, and they needed specialist equipment to fight the blaze from afar. But Gary wanted to try and isolate the gas mains." She looked down with a sigh. "A burning beam fell from the uppermost level of the warehouse and caught him on the head and spine."

She set her glass down.

"He died on scene."

Sadness and anger on her old friend's behalf consumed as she shook her head once more.

"He died on scene because he couldn't follow orders and didn't give a second thought to his wife and kids."

Silence blanketed the table for a moment as all eyes bulged in Erin's directions. Mutterings of supports rang out, before the kids unintentionally changed the subject. Danny however, he wasn't speaking. The guilt that he had managed to suppress was banging its way through every organ he possessed. He imagined it laughing its evil head off as it returned, more potent and powerful than it had ever been. There was no hiding from it. It seemed like the cruellest trick of fate…because he was meant to hear that story. He kept his eyes glued to the table as Linda clutched his arm and whispered into his ear. "Thank god that wasn't you. At least I know and at least I can go to sleep knowing…you'd never risk leaving me and the boys' behind for something as stupid as an ego."

She smiled softly at him, love brimming in her eyes.

The beef that Danny had consumed trundled dangerously in his stomach as he nodded tightly.

As the clattering of the mains being finished up and cleared with desert beckoning rang out, he felt his whole world collapse. He saw images of his crying sons, walking beside his own coffin, consoled by a pale Linda. He saw his father, brother, grandfather and sister throwing dirt on the casket of another brother, son and grandson, dead before his time. He heard in his mind's eye, the muted conversation of distant relatives and friends. _"He never listened." "He never could follow the simplest order." "How is she going to manage on her own, with two boys' to feed?" "Hopefully she'll meet someone else, someone who'll take care of them all…."_

His stomach burned as he shoved his chair back from the table.

In the midst of the clearing chaos, no one took any notice.

Except for his father.

Striding from the room and shooting Frank a look he hoped to high heaven he understood, Danny walked straight out the front door and circled round the red brick walls. He kept walking as the thick and hot guilt bubbled in his gut. He came to an abrupt halt outside the structure and swallowed as deeply as he'd ever done. He hadn't been out here in years and years, but that didn't prevent many, many memories flooding back. He opened the door the sounds of the all too familiar squeak and breathed in the all too familiar smell. Stepping in, he left the door ajar and closed his eyes, steadying himself.

It was only a minute later when he felt a presence in the doorway.

"Danny?"

Turning to face his father, the eldest of his offspring nodded silently in the confines of the warm Reagan woodshed. Without a word, he reached up and unbuckled his belt efficiently, looping the buckle around his hand before extending it towards his father, who took it on sheer instinct, with a raised brow of shock prominent on his brow.

"I was wrong to leave, dad. I was wrong to do what I did and I can't…Linda, she doesn't….."

He scrubbed a hand across his eyes and drank in his shocked father with misery splashed on his face.

He gestured towards the thick belt in his father's hands.

"Use it."

…..

TBC

…..


	5. Chapter 5

Reagan Senior and Reagan Junior stared at each other in silence for a pressing amount of time. The belt remained in Frank's hand, limp and innocent for the time being. His eyes were full of conflicting confusion and understanding as he surveyed his eldest child. The pain was there and it was clear to see if you knew how to look. And Frank, not that it was something he enjoyed doing, knew how to look. It was a father's instinct that he had honed into an appreciable skill over the years with his brood. He didn't for the first time in a long time know what to say. Truth be told, he had anticipated that this would be the outcome of Danny's uncharacteristic refusal to submit to tried and tested correction. He just hadn't realised the conflicting emotion it would cause in _him._ He didn't know what to do and that was a scary thing for a man who always knew what to do.

"What do you want from me, Danny?"

The frustrated expression that etched into his son's face was to be expected but he was not to be deterred. If Danny wanted him to do what ought and could have been done alongside his brother, then he was going to have to offer more than "I've changed my mind." When it was clear his father's question wasn't a rhetorical one, Danny mewled slightly but cleared his throat. Embarrassment burned into his cheeks as he tried to find the words. It was bad enough accepting a whooping from his father at his age, but to _ask_ for it was another kettle of fish. "I uhh….well…." he trailed off in irritated shame. "Jeez, Dad…you know what I'm saying. Don't make this any harder for me." Frank raised a delicate brow. "Forgive me Daniel, but considering how you reacted to my suggestion along these lines not two days ago, I'm finding it quite hard to keep up. So, I'll ask you again. What do you want from me?"

Danny's insides squirmed like jello as he took in a deep breath.

"Your forgiveness."

Frank shook his head.

"You already have my forgiveness."

Danny gaped.

"What? How do I have your forgiveness? I didn't…I walked out….I didn't let you…" He scrubbed a hand across his face as he tried to find the words. "I don't see how I can have your forgiveness in the same way that Jamie has it." Frank smiled rather sadly. "Son, does having some form of consequence for your more outlandish behaviour help me to get over that behaviour? Yes. But it isn't essential. It isn't a necessity. I can very easily get by without it, and I have. I have already forgiven you. And to be quite honest, as unpleasant as it may be, any punishment I've ever given is more to help you than to help me."

Danny tilted his head.

"Huh?"

"Your punishment is to help you to forgive yourself, not to help me to forgive you."

All of this information was beginning to hurt Danny's head. He stared at his father in distress. "So…so you're saying that you don't care about what I did?" The suddenly sour expression on Frank's face was answer enough. "Of course I care about what you did. Of course I was furious with you; of course I was disappointed in you. But you're not my teenager anymore, Danny. You've got a teenager of your own now. I can't respond to your behaviour in the way I used to without listening to you. And you spoke and I listened. So…at the risk of sounding redundant, what do you want from me? What's changed?"

Danny chewed his lip but he didn't need to dwell long before the answer struck him.

"Linda," he said hoarsely, "The boys. That story she was telling at the dinner table... that could have been about me. I didn't really get that until I heard it from her mouth. I could have left my wife and kids without a husband and a father. All because of a decision that when I look back on…I'm ashamed of."

Frank felt his heart swell with pride.

But it didn't show on his face.

"I'm glad that the seriousness of your actions has now been sufficiently impressed upon you Danny, but I don't see how I can help you any further." He knew he was being a hard ass. He knew he could easily make this a lot easier for his eldest. But he wanted him to remember this. Wanted him to remember how it felt when he put his pride before what he knew was best for his family in the long run. Making him work for something that he hated was a sure fire way to do just that. He knew from experience, personal experience. The look on Danny's face as he stared in consternation was like looking into the mirror of years past and it was all he could do not to break down and give in. But he didn't. He merely eyed his son with a polite interest as he struggled to put the words together.

"Why are you making this so difficult?"

Frank had to bite back a chuckle.

The petulant tone didn't match the physique that went with it.

"Why am I making what so difficult?"

"Jesus Christ," Danny muttered under his breath. Frank's brows shot up. "Language," he admonished quietly. "None of that around me. You know better." His eldest sighed in resignation and nodded with a mumbled "sorry." Silence swallowed the two up once more as Frank waited patiently and Danny waited impatiently. He knew that this would be hard. He hadn't counted on his dad making it _this_ hard. Just about when the silence was reaching breaking point, Frank finally took pity on his first son.

"You want a spanking, Danny?"

Feeling like he could just about pass out from the shame and embarrassment, Danny made a noncommittal grunt and dropped his gaze to the floor. Considering that he'd done enough to guide his son, Frank shook his head. "I'm sorry, what was that?" Looking up slowly with a flushed face, Danny gave a jerky shrug of his shoulders. "I'm not sure _want_ is the right word," he mumbled shamefacedly, "But…."

Frank sighed with a mixture of exasperation and pride. He consciously rephrased his earlier query.

"You need a spanking, Danny?"

Chewing his lip with a tortured expression, the seasoned detective shuffled where he stood. "I feel so guilty," he half whispered. "I'm not used to…you usually…." He sighed. "I'm not used to things feeling unresolved. I know you forgive me, but you're right, I don't forgive myself. I don't trust myself. I don't feel…clean." Frank stared for a moment as pride trundled through him. "That's very self aware of you son," he praised quietly, "Not many men could be that honest with themselves. Not many men at all."

He suddenly felt the weight of the belt in his hands.

He held it out to Danny who took it with a resigned expression.

His father wasn't going to help him.

He'd blown that relationship with him, which no matter how painful, was important.

"I whipped your brother long and hard Danny," Frank said quietly as he easily read the look on his son's face. "And whilst I appreciate the offer of your belt, I think mine will do a much better job." He was unbuckling it as he spoke and as understanding shot across Danny's face. His father always wore the same brand of belt. And it was a hell of a lot thicker and wider than the one he had offered. He gulped as his brain screamed at him. _Be careful what you wish for and all that._ But he quietened that voice. He knew exactly what he was doing when he had asked his father silently to follow him. The guilt that was in him was eating him alive. He couldn't take it any longer. He needed to atone; he needed to be clean again.

Folding his own belt over in his hands, Frank silently reached out and closed the woodshed door as he flicked on the overhead light. There would be no need for an audience as he dealt with his eldest. As the amber light filled the room, both men were forcibly reminded of the last trip they had both taken together into the dusty shed. Danny's butt clenched automatically. Frank felt a phantom ache in his swinging arm. Suffice to say that the eldest Reagan offspring had never ditched a mandatory weekend retreat at the academy in favour of drinking himself senseless on the beach with some equally dense cadets.

Frank snorted.

"I don't think it will be as bad as that time. My bones aren't as strong as they used to be."

Danny couldn't believe the chuckle that escaped him as he drank in the brief levity.

"I don't think I could survive another round like that."

Frank smiled softly as he nodded. But he quickly sobered when the unexpected task at hand hit home. Groaning inwardly at the thoughts of tanning his son, he resolved to just get on with it. "I was hard on your brother Danny, and if you accept your share, I'm going to be just as hard on you. Do you understand me?" Also sobering up, the detective nodded. "I do." Silence ensued for another moment as Frank contemplated this. "I'll keep it short and sweet Daniel. Your behaviour was inexcusable and I expected you to set a better example for your brother. I expected you to show more respect to the badge. I expected you to have a thought for your family who has already lost one son to the job. I expected you to behave like a decorated detective. I did not expect you to behave like a green rookie with a chip on his shoulder. And I stand by what I said. I forgive you, I already have. But I'd be lying if I said you didn't let me down and if I said I wasn't disappointed in you."

He paused to let the simple but blistering bollocking set in.

"I expect better from you Daniel and you should expect better from yourself. Are we understood?"

With shame rapidly flooding him, Danny nodded morosely. "Yes dad," he mumbled quietly. He gathered himself for a moment before admitting something he knew to be true. "I'll never walk out again. If you give me that option, I won't be taking it. I never, ever thought I'd say this…but a sore ass is nowhere near as bad as the guilt. Nowhere near." Frank couldn't help but smile with pride. "I would tend to agree. So, how about we go ahead and give you that sore ass so we can take away the guilt?"

Danny's gut clenched but he nodded resiliently.

"In your own time then, son."

Jaw tight with apprehension, Danny turned slowly on his heel and easily identified the dip in the pile of wood that he had been bent over more times than he cared to admit. Stepping up to it, he steeled himself. The wood pile came up to his waistline and in a heinous twist of fate was the perfect height for him to bend over, presenting his backside at an optimum level for chastisement. As he draped himself over, the familiar woody scent hit him and he blinked as memories hit hard and fast. His father's hand wasn't long about landing softly on the small of his back as Frank cleared his throat.

"You've made your choice now, Danny. This punishment is over when _I_ say it is. Is that clear?"

The younger man swallowed.

"Yes dad."

The hand pressed down a little harder on his back and then the whistle of the belt filled the air. When the first crack landed, as usual, Danny didn't feel it for a second. He heard it, but he didn't feel it. After two or so seconds passed however, he felt it. Boy did he feel it. An irrepressible whimper tore from his throat as the strip of leather assailed his rear end. It bit into his flesh like a piranha, even with the cover of the jeans he knew he would soon be losing. His father generally didn't talk when he was tearing one of them up, but apparently he was about to make an exception in this case. As the belt cracked across his prone backside for the second time, it was accompanied by Frank's voice.

"As much as this hurts and as much as this is going to hurt, it isn't going to hurt as much as your funeral would."

Danny gasped at those words and at the third stripe that burned into his behind. He'd been strapped over his current pile of wood many, many times. But he had clearly forgotten how much it _hurt._ Frank lapsed into silence as he set about his corrective measure with gusto. He was really wearing his son out, because he knew he needed it. It was hard to do considering how proud he felt of his eldest for being so brave, but it still had to be done. All he had to was conjure up images of burying the last two of his sons and his ability to teach a thorough lesson was revitalised. With a searing lash, he stopped and stepped back.

"Stand up. Lose the jeans, the shorts too. Bare backside time."

Swallowing a plea with difficulty, Danny stood. A gasp escaped him as the full force of the sting in his tail was realised. He fumbled with the buttons of his jeans for what felt like an eternity before he got them undone. Biting his lip, he tugged at the waistband and pulled them to his knees. With great reluctance, he reached back up and repeated the motion with shorts, before bending back over the woodpile without a word of complaint. Frank's assessment of his son's butt was accurate. Dusty pink but no doubt extremely sore. As he replaced the restraining and comforting hand on Danny's back, he knew that dusty pink would morph into a flaming crimson by the time he was finished with him.

"Cry all you want son, but stay still. Ok?"

Danny's muffled nod was answer enough.

The remainder of the punishment was fast and it was furious. Frank didn't hold back. With precision, he painted stripe after stripe of vibrant red across his eldest's unprotected backside and upper thighs. Even as Danny began to sniffle and eventually sob quietly under his hand, he continued to bring the belt down with a bite. He hadn't lied to Danny. He'd been extremely hard on Jamie and he had been upfront in offering the same penance to Danny. Finally, after what felt like an eternity to the two men, the final stroke of the wide belt landed and it was over.

It was finally over.

Quickly threading the belt back through his loops, Frank knelt against the pile of wood that was supporting Danny's frame and spoke quietly to him. Rubbing a hand through his hair, he continued to speak quickly and softly for a long time. He didn't rush his son to his feet. He was still crying quietly, though nothing like he had been. He didn't need to speak for Frank to know that the burden he had been carrying was lifted. He was watching it dissipate, with every tear that rolled down his eldest's face. After a considerable time, Danny sniffed his last sniff and sought to right himself. Turning his back at this point, Frank busied himself in opening the woodshed door and flicking off the light. Danny hissed and redid his jeans in the setting sun.

He wasn't going to be sitting for a long time.

And they both knew it.

Frank gazed at him from the doorway.

"You want to go and sit in on the rest of the game?

Danny stared for a moment. In such a small sentence his father had essentially put things right in the world. They were back to normal. Even though there had been no bad blood harboured from Frank's side, the easiness between father and son had returned tenfold. As Danny moved stiffly towards the door, he tilted his head in Frank's direction with a ghost of his usual roguish grin.

"Can I stand instead?"

PC Reagan offered a similar roguish grin and his eyes sparkled with mischief.

"Only in and facing the corner."

Sighing, Danny reached back and rubbed his aching butt with a put upon expression. "I hate you pops, you know that?"

Reaching over to ruffle his son's hair, Frank shook his head with a wide smile.

"I'm still doing my job right then."

…..

FIN: That's a wrap! Thanks for reading and reviewing folks. If you want another Blue Bloods story, lemme know and I'll see what strikes!

_Inks

…..


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